Wroclaw By Me: II Trip Report
www.supershaadi.com
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
Choose to be Successful Today !!
Will you choose to be successful today? Success is a choice you can
make. Do you believe that statement? If you do not then you have chosen
(yes chosen) a different route and success may not come to you! Success
is about choosing what you want in life and taking the necessary steps
to achieve that goal. Success is not stopping until you get there!
Read the last two sentences again. Easy to say but how do you get
there? What are the choices made by the successful? What are they doing
differently from everyone else?
Choose to remove whatever is holding you back. Has something happened
in the past to affect your self esteem? Do you immediately have negative
thoughts as soon as money and success come to mind? If you are not
choosing success then it is likely that something is blocking your ability
to change and follow a new path. To remove the block you must have
focus. To have focus you must first have an all consuming dream of where
you want to be. Only when you have defined that dream can you start to
focus on it. Focus so intently that everything you do is done with your
dream in mind. Only then can you move toward that dream.
Choose to live your success. Live your life as if you were successful,
as if you had already achieved the goal that you are focusing on. When
you are at work, visualize what your workplace will be like when you
have reached your goal, and place yourself there. Sit at your desk as if
you were running the multimillion dollar business that you are focusing
on. When you get into your car, visualize what your dream car will be
like and see yourself sitting in it. Visualize yourself driving away
from your dream house. When you are in your home - look around it and see
your new surroundings. Get inside the feeling - really be there.
The more you do this, the more your subconscious will think that you
are successful and move you towards these things. Live your success
expecting to realize it. Living it now is a practice run for when it comes
to you. After all, you want to be prepared, don't you?
Choose to believe in your success. What your conscious mind believes,
your subconscious strives to achieve. Look around at your friends and
acquaintances and ask yourself how many of them have unshakable belief in
where they are going. Are they successful? Possibly not - they may be
in a good job and have a nice life but they do not have the success
factor. Perhaps you do know of someone with unshakable belief. They may not
be successful now but they will be moving in the right direction. Watch
that space....
Belief is the catalyst which takes the dream and turns the focus into a
plan to get there. Never underestimate the power of belief.
Choose to be emotional about your success. Belief plus emotion are
unstoppable. If you have utter belief then you will develop emotion. If you
want something badly enough it is emotive. Maybe it is to get out of
debt. If you have suffered the hardships of this situation you will feel
everything to do with debt and money is charged with emotion. This is
the reason behind so many 'rags to riches' stories. Sometimes only the
most devastating of emotional circumstances are the catalyst for change
and a move toward success instead of away from it.
You can choose success. Or you can choose to stay safe and do what you
do now. Guess what - you will still be doing the same in ten years
time. The question is - do you want to?
Sanjay Tiwari
www.SuperShaadi.com - Working for your better half
New delhi, India
make. Do you believe that statement? If you do not then you have chosen
(yes chosen) a different route and success may not come to you! Success
is about choosing what you want in life and taking the necessary steps
to achieve that goal. Success is not stopping until you get there!
Read the last two sentences again. Easy to say but how do you get
there? What are the choices made by the successful? What are they doing
differently from everyone else?
Choose to remove whatever is holding you back. Has something happened
in the past to affect your self esteem? Do you immediately have negative
thoughts as soon as money and success come to mind? If you are not
choosing success then it is likely that something is blocking your ability
to change and follow a new path. To remove the block you must have
focus. To have focus you must first have an all consuming dream of where
you want to be. Only when you have defined that dream can you start to
focus on it. Focus so intently that everything you do is done with your
dream in mind. Only then can you move toward that dream.
Choose to live your success. Live your life as if you were successful,
as if you had already achieved the goal that you are focusing on. When
you are at work, visualize what your workplace will be like when you
have reached your goal, and place yourself there. Sit at your desk as if
you were running the multimillion dollar business that you are focusing
on. When you get into your car, visualize what your dream car will be
like and see yourself sitting in it. Visualize yourself driving away
from your dream house. When you are in your home - look around it and see
your new surroundings. Get inside the feeling - really be there.
The more you do this, the more your subconscious will think that you
are successful and move you towards these things. Live your success
expecting to realize it. Living it now is a practice run for when it comes
to you. After all, you want to be prepared, don't you?
Choose to believe in your success. What your conscious mind believes,
your subconscious strives to achieve. Look around at your friends and
acquaintances and ask yourself how many of them have unshakable belief in
where they are going. Are they successful? Possibly not - they may be
in a good job and have a nice life but they do not have the success
factor. Perhaps you do know of someone with unshakable belief. They may not
be successful now but they will be moving in the right direction. Watch
that space....
Belief is the catalyst which takes the dream and turns the focus into a
plan to get there. Never underestimate the power of belief.
Choose to be emotional about your success. Belief plus emotion are
unstoppable. If you have utter belief then you will develop emotion. If you
want something badly enough it is emotive. Maybe it is to get out of
debt. If you have suffered the hardships of this situation you will feel
everything to do with debt and money is charged with emotion. This is
the reason behind so many 'rags to riches' stories. Sometimes only the
most devastating of emotional circumstances are the catalyst for change
and a move toward success instead of away from it.
You can choose success. Or you can choose to stay safe and do what you
do now. Guess what - you will still be doing the same in ten years
time. The question is - do you want to?
Sanjay Tiwari
www.SuperShaadi.com - Working for your better half
New delhi, India
Six Steps for Taking a Stand
1. Trust your inner voice that says something's not right.
If something feels wrong to you about a situation or person at work, it probably is. We may not know exactly why just yet, but the first step to effectively managing conflict is to believe that there's a problem. Good girls tend to deny or minimize a problem. Bodacious Women don't look away or pretend. They accept that a problem exists.
2. See the situation for what it is.
After you've accepted that a problem exists, back off from your frustration for the moment and use your head to paint as complete a picture as possible. Who are all the players or people involved? What are the facts of the situation (for example, he did this, then she said that, then I said...)? What underlying dynamics do you also see going on? Try to be as objective as possible at this point. It's easy to get emotionally swept up and thrown off as you think through this. Resist that as much as possible.
3. Decide what you want.
Here's where you first need to take a stand with yourself. In almost all the conflicts we have, there is usually some aspect that attacks our sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Standing up for yourself first means you internally reject negative, critical messages from others as true, and believe that you are a person worth being treated with respect.
Now that you're clear about being treated with respect, what do you want to be different in this situation? Is there a specific behavior you want the other person to demonstrate? Is there a specific decision or result you want in your favor? Be as specific as possible, because when you are, you're more likely to get it.
4. Decide how you're going to interact with this person.
Determine what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. If you're saying something in person, write it out and say it out loud. Start with a statement of your main point, pause, and then add backup information of what you mean and why you feel the way you do. No need to over explain.
Practice in front of mirror, then on a trusted friend who can give you feedback. Get used to the wording so that it flows without having to look down at your paper. If you're writing an e-mail or letter, write it once, then put it aside and read it again later. Is it clear? Is it too long? Would the person know how you want them to respond? Again, ask a friend to put their eyes on it and get feedback.
5. Do it!
You just gotta get started and do it! I know that taking a stand in person is a tough thing to do; yet often it's the most effective way to get your needs met. I also know we have to face our fears head on. One thing that helps me is to focus on the fact that I can't fail. Why? Because the fact is, I didn't shrink from the uncomfortable situation, I demonstrated my self-respect, and I'm doing something about it.
6. Expect some pushback and then respond.
Once you've determined what you're going to say and how you're going to say it, anticipate the response. If you're addressing one person, come up with at least two ways he or she may respond. How will you reply? If it's a small group, consider at least one response for each person.
After using this checklist a few times, you'll find that taking a stand will come much easier for you and eventually will be an automatic reaction. It's conditioning and it's personal power. Start exercising it!
Sanjay Tiwari
www.SuperShaadi.com - Working for your better half.
New Delhi, India
If something feels wrong to you about a situation or person at work, it probably is. We may not know exactly why just yet, but the first step to effectively managing conflict is to believe that there's a problem. Good girls tend to deny or minimize a problem. Bodacious Women don't look away or pretend. They accept that a problem exists.
2. See the situation for what it is.
After you've accepted that a problem exists, back off from your frustration for the moment and use your head to paint as complete a picture as possible. Who are all the players or people involved? What are the facts of the situation (for example, he did this, then she said that, then I said...)? What underlying dynamics do you also see going on? Try to be as objective as possible at this point. It's easy to get emotionally swept up and thrown off as you think through this. Resist that as much as possible.
3. Decide what you want.
Here's where you first need to take a stand with yourself. In almost all the conflicts we have, there is usually some aspect that attacks our sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Standing up for yourself first means you internally reject negative, critical messages from others as true, and believe that you are a person worth being treated with respect.
Now that you're clear about being treated with respect, what do you want to be different in this situation? Is there a specific behavior you want the other person to demonstrate? Is there a specific decision or result you want in your favor? Be as specific as possible, because when you are, you're more likely to get it.
4. Decide how you're going to interact with this person.
Determine what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. If you're saying something in person, write it out and say it out loud. Start with a statement of your main point, pause, and then add backup information of what you mean and why you feel the way you do. No need to over explain.
Practice in front of mirror, then on a trusted friend who can give you feedback. Get used to the wording so that it flows without having to look down at your paper. If you're writing an e-mail or letter, write it once, then put it aside and read it again later. Is it clear? Is it too long? Would the person know how you want them to respond? Again, ask a friend to put their eyes on it and get feedback.
5. Do it!
You just gotta get started and do it! I know that taking a stand in person is a tough thing to do; yet often it's the most effective way to get your needs met. I also know we have to face our fears head on. One thing that helps me is to focus on the fact that I can't fail. Why? Because the fact is, I didn't shrink from the uncomfortable situation, I demonstrated my self-respect, and I'm doing something about it.
6. Expect some pushback and then respond.
Once you've determined what you're going to say and how you're going to say it, anticipate the response. If you're addressing one person, come up with at least two ways he or she may respond. How will you reply? If it's a small group, consider at least one response for each person.
After using this checklist a few times, you'll find that taking a stand will come much easier for you and eventually will be an automatic reaction. It's conditioning and it's personal power. Start exercising it!
Sanjay Tiwari
www.SuperShaadi.com - Working for your better half.
New Delhi, India
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